"Why Can't This American Make Apple Pie?"
This is not a rhetorical question, nor a joke with a clever answer, but something flickering through my mind all day.
It all started last weekend. I woke up Saturday morning, had my weekend Irish coffee, checked the calender, and saw it: mother-in-law's birthday. Really? Crap. (Please m-i-l, don't be reading this!) We'd been so busy that I knew my husband had pushed any thoughts of gifting right out of his mind. It happens this way every year, what with the post-christmas gifting/celebrating burnout, January birthdays kind of get the shaft.
Well, I thought, plastering my best Betty Crocker smile on, I'll do what any American would do in this situation - bake an apple pie. For some reason (it might've been the bowl of apples staring me in the face), I thought the thick layer of kitsch spread over this whole situation might make it work. I marvelled at how able of a woman I was to have everything in the kitchen. Apples, yup. Flour, sugar, all the basics, of course. I dug in. No recipe, baby. I should know this. Pie crust, shmie shmust. It should be in my blood.
Hah, I think, phooey to all those cute lil' European shops, lucky for me I've been cultivating my American good-neighborism (we just moved to this flat a couple months ago...it takes awhile). Text the neighbor. Nope. Outa town already. Still chipper (musta been that Irish coffee), I decide any home baker worth their salt could improvise their way out of this one.
I won't post the recipe. I am much too embarrassed. It was, eh, okay. Eaters were polite enough to say it was tasty. When I pointed out there was no butter, that was the problem, they kind of murmured in agreement.
Where did I go wrong? It would probably be even worse if I confessed that I've worked in bakeries producing sweets on a daily basis. Okay, not pie, but is it really so different?
If you have any hope for this expat spreading some American-pie-goodness around the world (or at least Czech Republic, which is, after all, in the center of the world) I need your help.
Send me your best (or not so terrible) apple pie recipe. I'll try anything and everything I receive, until I can wake up on a Saturday and whip together one heck of a pie!
Děkuju / Thank You :)